Human Stories

Back Mariam Sadgobelashvili

Mariam Sadgobelashvili

„The first time I felt that I was „different“ was when I arrived in Tbilisi and felt a strange look of passers-by on the street. People were approaching me and asking me in a direct and tactless manner: „How do you go out?“, „Don’t you have parents?“

 

Before that, I lived in Zestaponi where I never felt that I was different in any way. Locals knew me since the day I was born and they knew that I had pelvic problems and I could only move with a cane. They saw me go through nearly 15 surgeries, fight for my life and probably they didn’t even notice my situation. Therefore, I was never uncomfortable with my body.

 

Being in a large city where no one knows you is completely different. Often people feel sorry for me, which is very unpleasant. On the one hand, I try to convince myself that I am an ordinary person, who can ordinarily sing and dance, walk on the street, stand in the line... At the same time, people come up to me and tell me how poor I am. It upsets me a lot but I respond to them in a cultured manner and say that they don’t need to feel sorry for me.

 

Sometimes people decide without me that I need help. I understand that they are driven with kind intentions, however it makes me feel helpless, which negatively affects my self-esteem. I would be happy if people helped when I really needed it, while too much attention and pity strengthen the stereotypes about helplessness of persons with disabilities.

 

Can you imagine if a stranger stopped you on the street and asked you about your family? Isn’t it strange? Can you imagine how uncomfortable it is when strangers approach me with direct questions and try to find out about my health? I too am concerned about what bothers other people but what matters is how you ask them about it – I would never allow myself to invade their personal space with my curiosity. I think it is important to put ourselves in other person’s shoes and perhaps we will no longer feel the urge to ask this question.

 

I was lucky at school and university and I never experienced bullying. However, online space is quite different where I have over 75,000 subscribers. I share only happy videos on Tik-Tok and I get a lot of compliments, many of these compliments are sarcastic. Moreover, social media is the place where I realized that my face is deformed – I never felt it anywhere before. They focus so much on my face and I get so many uncomfortable questions that it really breaks my heart. I try not to respond to such comments but it is a skill that you need to work on – people are emotional and we’re not always calm in every situation.

 

I think that people around me play a very important role in creating all the complexes that I have ever had or still have. I am comfortable with my own self and I would only be happy if others view me as their equal. Inclusion is very important in that regard, as evidenced with my childhood experience. When we accept each other, study each other’s needs very well, co-existence will become more pleasant and interesting“ 

  • Diminuer la taille du texte
  • Augmenter la taille du texte
  • Imprimer la page