Adapted from T-Kit Training Essentials, p. 102 in previous edition, available online at: https://pjp-eu.coe.int/en/web/youth-partnership/t-kit-6-training-essentials

What feedback should be What not to say
Why?		 What to say
Why?
Descriptive

“This is bad!” or “This is good!”
Because criteria for this judgement aresubjective and other people can interpret them differently

“Your loud talking during the role-play made me feel stressed.”
Because it is up to the other person to decide what to do with the feedback; keep your observation to a description of what happened and what you felt at that moment
Specific

“You are dominant!”
Because the way of saying it is both unhelpful and  confrontational, and doesn’t tell the other person anything specific about how you experienced the situation

 “While making that decision, I had the impression that you dominated the space for discussion and that I did not have space to contribute ...”
Because this indicates what you experienced, and how you experienced the situation
Appropriate

“What you need to do …”
Because this presents your suggestion as a fact rather than as an opinion 
Because this indicates a projection of your needs onto the other person

“While making that decision, I had the impression that you dominated the space for discussion and that I did not have space to contribute ...”
Because this indicates what you experienced, and how you experienced the situation
Useful If a person is unable to change something, there is no point in mentioning it.
Because it just makes the other person feel powerless if they cannot change the thing you point out, and pointing it out is not constructive
Wanted Feedback is most effective when wanted by the receiver.
Because if it is not wanted, it won’t be accepted as constructive and worked with
At the right time If at all possible, feedback should be given as soon as the impression was made.
Because if it is given much later, the other person will not remember the situation as well, and will not be able to consider the feedback  constructively
Clear Ask the receiver of feedback whether they need any clarification of your point.
Because you may not have made yourself clear and they may not understand it completely